Don’t show me yours and I won’t show you mine.

Inside Ford Chapel view from the balcony.
Inside Ford Chapel view from the balcony. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

College hosts mastrabatory instruction seminar in a Church.

Allegheny College’s Ford Memorial Chapel was transformed into a boudoir of sorts Wednesday night, as professional sex educators advised students in attendance how best to touch themselves and their partners to reach orgasm in what was billed as an educational seminar.

The chapel, built and dedicated in 1902, is where Catholic mass and non-denominational services are conducted every week at the private liberal arts college in northwestern Pennsylvania. But all that took a back pew to Wednesday’s festivities, dubbed “I Heart the Female Orgasm” and hosted by a variety of student groups on campus.

The two sex educators, Marshall Miller and Kate Weinberg, talked students through a variety of masturbation techniques during the event.

The article goes on to quote the instructors and provide graphic descriptions of the maneuvers taught. Lovely.

Here’s the problem I have with this whole ordeal. It isn’t that they held it in a Church (no pun intended), nor that our taxpayer funds went toward teaching these young adults how to get off (although I do take serious issue with both of those). It’s primarily that people feel that this is something worth discussing in a public, teacher-student environment.

Weinberg later held up two books titled I’ll Show You Mine and Petals, encouraging students to flip through them after the program: “We’ve got two amazing books up here with pages and pages of art photographs of vaginas and vulvas [sic].”

Why? Seriously, what value does a book of “artistic” photos of genitalia add to society? I’m not arguing for or against the right to publish such books. I’m asking why someone feels their particular bit of wedding tackle is worthy of praise, respect, and public viewing. Yes, women have vaginas, vulvae, and clitorises. Men have testicles, scrota, and penile glands. (Don’t get red-faced, you likely have at least one of these combinations. Possibly both, it happens.) It’s biology, and it’s how we reproduce, I get it. What I don’t understand is why some in our society feel the need to place theirs on a pedestal and show it to the world. “Look at my labia! It’s natural, it isn’t modified, and it’s mine!” Who cares?

There’s a word for all this – decency. I’m not saying you should be ashamed of your genitals. I’m not saying you should avoid “manual manipulation” should you feel so inclined. Just keep it to yourself. I don’t care to hear about it, and I’m sure most of the American populace feels the same way. Do you describe your bowel habits to everyone? Do you go into detail regarding girth, length, and percentile content of non-digested foodstuffs? No? Then why would you go into detail, especially on a public stage, about what angles to hold your fingers at when masturbating?

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